Let’s talk about avoidant attachment, a pattern often misunderstood.

If you’re someone who values independence, shuts down in conflict, or feels overwhelmed by too much emotional closeness, you may be carrying avoidant attachment wounds.

These usually stem from early relationships where your needs were dismissed - or you had to rely on yourself emotionally. So now, love might feel like pressure. You may pull away not because you don’t care, but because it feels safer to be on your own terms.

The work here is to gently lean into intimacy. To notice the moments, you want to run and ask, “What part of me is afraid - and what does it need to feel safe right now?” We all need connection. Even if it wasn’t modelled safely early on, it can be rebuilt - with patience and compassion.

To learn more about attachment styles, take the test here

Once you understand your attachment style, feel free to journal or reflect on these journal prompts for deepening self-awareness.

• What does it feel like when someone gets “too close” emotionally? What thoughts or fears come up?

• How was emotional vulnerability treated in my family growing up?

• What do I tend to do when I feel overwhelmed or emotionally trapped in a relationship?

• What could it mean to stay connected and stay true to myself?

Remember to be gentle and offer yourself compassion as you explore and reach out to a trusted friend, or professional helper if you require support or empathy along the journey.

Next week, we’ll explore how secure attachment can grow - even if you didn’t start there.