As a counsellor, I often hear people say things like, “I am so anxious,” or “I always sabotage my relationships,” as if these struggles are an unchangeable part of who they are. But what if we could step back and see things differently?

Narrative therapy, a powerful and compassionate approach developed by Michael White and David Epston, helps us do just that. At its core is a simple but profound idea: You are not the problem - the problem is the problem. This shift in perspective creates space for self-compassion, growth, and new possibilities.

🔍 Externalizing the Problem: Creating Distance, Gaining Power

In narrative therapy, we work to externalize problems, meaning we separate them from a person’s identity. Instead of saying, “I am depressed,” we might say, “Depression has been showing up in my life and making things harder for me.”

Why does this matter? Because when we see the problem as something outside of us - rather than something we are - we can examine it, challenge it, and find ways to change our relationship with it. This approach reduces shame and self-blame, making it easier to take action.

✏️ Re-authoring Your Story: Finding Strength & Possibility

We all have stories we tell ourselves about who we are, shaped by past experiences, cultural messages, and personal struggles. Some of these stories are empowering, while others keep us stuck. Narrative therapy helps us rewrite these stories by exploring times when we’ve resisted problems, shown resilience, or acted in ways that don’t align with the “dominant” problem-saturated narrative.

For example, if someone sees themselves as “a failure in relationships,” we might explore times when they successfully set boundaries, showed love, or maintained meaningful connections. These “alternative stories” remind us that we are more than the problem - we have strengths, wisdom, and the ability to create change.

💡 Putting It into Practice: Questions to Reflect On

• If your problem was a character in a story, what would it look like? What name would you give it?

• How does this problem try to influence you? What tricks does it use?

• When have you resisted or overcome the problem, even in small ways?

• What values, skills, or strengths do you have that the problem doesn’t want you to recognize?

Narrative therapy invites us to be the authors of our own lives, rather than feeling trapped by the problems we face. When we separate ourselves from the struggle, we gain clarity, choice, and a new sense of possibility.

Your story is still unfolding - how do you want to tell it? ✨📖